Tonight’s top story: the bourbon burglar is back and better than ever. Passing on cold-hard cash, the bourbon burglar goes right for the good stuff: only the finest of single-barrel bourbons. Forget buying a bourbon safe or bourbon vault, because the beloved bourbon burglar will just charm you into opening it after a few generously poured tumblers of hearty American goodness. But what’s not to like about the bow-tied bourbon burglar, known for his classy burgling cardigans and mahogany-lined bourbon lair in the Bugaboos. So cheers to you, mister bourbon burglar: the burgling business is blessed by your gentlemanly debauchery.
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